Good vs. Evil
I try to be a good person. My moral code is first rate. That doesn't mean that I don't break the odd rule every now and then, but I think my heart is in the right place.
Biologically speaking at least.
It's colour may be a little off putting to your average human being, but it's tickin' and firmly entrenched in my meagre chest. And let's be honest with ourselves, when we think of empathy, we all see the colour black, don't we?
What I'm trying to get at here, is that I propose to you, my darlings - I urge you - to start keeping a tally of rights and wrongs in your life: In regards to how your actions affect - dare I say - the universe.
Firstly, which of these images best depicts you. Please feel free to blur genders. You simply must.
This one?
Gentle, isn't he? An All American Catch.
He would be a sweet heart, a good listener, with sensible, good natured advice.
Sadly, he'd be a fu*king dud in the sack. You can't have it all though. My recommendation would be vigorous masturbation while he's at church. Praying for your well-being.
What about this one?
I detect a little bit of devilry. A splash of the demon in our friend, Philippa. Sadly, I don't see a drink in her hand which disappoints me. The hand on the breast is a positive. I doubt she has any lesbian friends, but I suspect she would love to. Why? Because her other hand is instinctively heading south to Pleasureville.
A side note: Philippa may have a decent rack herself.
Cans aside, do you relate to this picture?
Thirdly:
Amusing? Do you find this funny? Don't. This is a Grin Of Opulence. Our pet friend has never tasted a notch of pain. He / She has never wanted for anything. Look at the white teeth, perfect healthy gums. Look at all the toys. He / She is simply sitting in a pool of wealth, sunning him / herself in rays of spoilt abandon. Is this you? Are you on Easy Street, and content with unearned wealth?
Think about it.
I recently had an audition for a MTC* show. I wanted it very badly. My first audition was well prepared, and performed with as much skill as my talent allows. Most importantly the part suited me; the character was nervous, and mildly autistic. I had already prepared my Green Room award speech, which I will spare you from reading, but it contained the word c*nts only 5 times. There's a tick on the good side of my list.
Bragging aside, I had a call back for the part. I have to reiterate how desperate I was to land this. I love the theatre, and I want to do it on the main stage; especially this play. It's called Love Song, and is a tale of finding happiness in a lonely world. It's not so much that sentiment that made it a good play - any hack can identify his / her play with that sentence - more so it was the story and how it unfolded. It touched me.
I like being touched.
So ... I'm waiting to hear if I'm going to get the part. I'm walking down Smith Street, and I see a couple of fellows pushing a car up a hill. It's out of petrol or broken or whatever, and one guy is at the back, struggling, whilst the other man is pushing and steering.
I watch, then I think about the MTC gig, and think a little good karma might not be a bad thing ... do you see where I'm going here? I trotted up and offered my assistance which they accepted gratefully, and helped them push their car up the hill to where they could park.
I threw a 'good luck, boys' over my shoulder as I continued on my way. I deliberately made little of a decent gesture, but I knew I would soon be rewarded. Does my humility touch you?
I like to touch.
I did not get the gig. It stung, but I took it well. Actors know much of rejection, and if you can't keep your chin up, no matter how badly you wanted it, you simply have to get out of the industry.
Last night I had a couple of wines with one of my favourite friends. This is another list I keep. Top Ten Friends. There are daily adjustments, but this one found herself right up there in the top 3, until she explained to me her theory in regards to my loaded car pushing gesture, and the MTC rejection. Luckily I recorded the conversation, so I can transcribe it for you, untainted by my constant desire to convince you that I am a metaphorical rose in a bed of thorns.
I shall be T, she shall be ... fuck it ... P. I'll pick up the transcription post my telling of the story. As far as stage directions are concerned, a 'beat' is a short pause.
T ... and it's fu*ked that I go out of my way to help people when no one is willing to take a chance on me.
P But darling, it's exactly why you didn't get the gig.
Beat
T Hm?
P What part of that didn't you understand?
T What part of what?
P What I just said.
T Are you implying ... wait - don't start with intentions, I helped them, I went out of my way to help a couple of fellow human beings who were in a pickle.
P Why?
Beat. T is mildly irritated
T Huh?
P sighs wearily and spells it out
P You just told me that you helped these guys, not because they needed assistance but because you wanted to make a deposit in the morality bank, so you could withdraw it at a later date.
T It doesn't matter why I did it.
P Yes it does.
T No. I did it, that's all that matters.
P You helping them stopped you from working with the MTC.
T That is a dark outlook, P. That's bitter.
P Essentially you were just being selfish.
T is shocked, and disappointed
T I am shocked and disappointed.
P Do you want another wine?
T Are you buying?
P Yes.
Complex variations on moral standpoints are abundant, and all I can offer is mine. I will no longer be helping the poor, my counsel will be shut down to the needy, and I will be going out of my way for nobody.
Because I want to be a good person. Do you? And have you got a plan in action to get it underway, like I do?
Get onto it
I'm going to Hanoi in 5 days. I am excited.
But I'll miss you.
*Melbourne Theatre Company
Biologically speaking at least.
It's colour may be a little off putting to your average human being, but it's tickin' and firmly entrenched in my meagre chest. And let's be honest with ourselves, when we think of empathy, we all see the colour black, don't we?
What I'm trying to get at here, is that I propose to you, my darlings - I urge you - to start keeping a tally of rights and wrongs in your life: In regards to how your actions affect - dare I say - the universe.
Firstly, which of these images best depicts you. Please feel free to blur genders. You simply must.
This one?
Gentle, isn't he? An All American Catch.
He would be a sweet heart, a good listener, with sensible, good natured advice.
Sadly, he'd be a fu*king dud in the sack. You can't have it all though. My recommendation would be vigorous masturbation while he's at church. Praying for your well-being.
What about this one?
I detect a little bit of devilry. A splash of the demon in our friend, Philippa. Sadly, I don't see a drink in her hand which disappoints me. The hand on the breast is a positive. I doubt she has any lesbian friends, but I suspect she would love to. Why? Because her other hand is instinctively heading south to Pleasureville.
A side note: Philippa may have a decent rack herself.
Cans aside, do you relate to this picture?
Thirdly:
Amusing? Do you find this funny? Don't. This is a Grin Of Opulence. Our pet friend has never tasted a notch of pain. He / She has never wanted for anything. Look at the white teeth, perfect healthy gums. Look at all the toys. He / She is simply sitting in a pool of wealth, sunning him / herself in rays of spoilt abandon. Is this you? Are you on Easy Street, and content with unearned wealth?
Think about it.
I recently had an audition for a MTC* show. I wanted it very badly. My first audition was well prepared, and performed with as much skill as my talent allows. Most importantly the part suited me; the character was nervous, and mildly autistic. I had already prepared my Green Room award speech, which I will spare you from reading, but it contained the word c*nts only 5 times. There's a tick on the good side of my list.
Bragging aside, I had a call back for the part. I have to reiterate how desperate I was to land this. I love the theatre, and I want to do it on the main stage; especially this play. It's called Love Song, and is a tale of finding happiness in a lonely world. It's not so much that sentiment that made it a good play - any hack can identify his / her play with that sentence - more so it was the story and how it unfolded. It touched me.
I like being touched.
So ... I'm waiting to hear if I'm going to get the part. I'm walking down Smith Street, and I see a couple of fellows pushing a car up a hill. It's out of petrol or broken or whatever, and one guy is at the back, struggling, whilst the other man is pushing and steering.
I watch, then I think about the MTC gig, and think a little good karma might not be a bad thing ... do you see where I'm going here? I trotted up and offered my assistance which they accepted gratefully, and helped them push their car up the hill to where they could park.
I threw a 'good luck, boys' over my shoulder as I continued on my way. I deliberately made little of a decent gesture, but I knew I would soon be rewarded. Does my humility touch you?
I like to touch.
I did not get the gig. It stung, but I took it well. Actors know much of rejection, and if you can't keep your chin up, no matter how badly you wanted it, you simply have to get out of the industry.
Last night I had a couple of wines with one of my favourite friends. This is another list I keep. Top Ten Friends. There are daily adjustments, but this one found herself right up there in the top 3, until she explained to me her theory in regards to my loaded car pushing gesture, and the MTC rejection. Luckily I recorded the conversation, so I can transcribe it for you, untainted by my constant desire to convince you that I am a metaphorical rose in a bed of thorns.
I shall be T, she shall be ... fuck it ... P. I'll pick up the transcription post my telling of the story. As far as stage directions are concerned, a 'beat' is a short pause.
T ... and it's fu*ked that I go out of my way to help people when no one is willing to take a chance on me.
P But darling, it's exactly why you didn't get the gig.
Beat
T Hm?
P What part of that didn't you understand?
T What part of what?
P What I just said.
T Are you implying ... wait - don't start with intentions, I helped them, I went out of my way to help a couple of fellow human beings who were in a pickle.
P Why?
Beat. T is mildly irritated
T Huh?
P sighs wearily and spells it out
P You just told me that you helped these guys, not because they needed assistance but because you wanted to make a deposit in the morality bank, so you could withdraw it at a later date.
T It doesn't matter why I did it.
P Yes it does.
T No. I did it, that's all that matters.
P You helping them stopped you from working with the MTC.
T That is a dark outlook, P. That's bitter.
P Essentially you were just being selfish.
T is shocked, and disappointed
T I am shocked and disappointed.
P Do you want another wine?
T Are you buying?
P Yes.
Complex variations on moral standpoints are abundant, and all I can offer is mine. I will no longer be helping the poor, my counsel will be shut down to the needy, and I will be going out of my way for nobody.
Because I want to be a good person. Do you? And have you got a plan in action to get it underway, like I do?
Get onto it
I'm going to Hanoi in 5 days. I am excited.
But I'll miss you.
*Melbourne Theatre Company
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